When I defriended Jen Umland for being a TERF, I didn't fully realize it was really a transphobic hate crime.

I didn't fully realize defriending Jen Umland Facebook was a transphobic hate crime until now. I defriended Umland over her TERF behavior and I didn't know that she was trans. She unfriended me after I went on a variety of Umland's posts and enjoyed all the comments from people who agreed with me. I thought she was a woman when I defriended her. I was tipped off to this after checking Umland's Facebook page again after ages and seeing her selfie of her and ... the title of that post was "The tranny lesbian couple you've always dreamed of." So, I'm starting to realize that Umland is trans. The selfies she posts of herself is every time with the male shadow in the background. She never puts photos of herself with her husband. Just the selfies in the mirror and her husband is just visible in the background. Maybe that's her way of telling us she is trans.<br><br>I had no idea that trans women were also an enemy of the TERF movement. I didn't think TERFs hated everyone who was trans? So, I was blindsided by this info that I while I thought I was fighting TERF ideology by defriending Umland that I really was being a transphobic bigot by defriending her. Oh lord, I'm going to be sick. This is all so confusing to me. What am I supposed to do? I really did not fully realize how transphobic I was until now. I feel really bad now and I just want to defriend all the trans people I know on Facebook because I don't feel like I understand them and I don't want to really. They are too different from me. I just delete their comments when I see them in my timeline. I never thought I was being transphobic because I was just doing my own thing and I didn't know that they weren't into me and I didn't know that they were all males and they didn't want me because I was a woman. But I didn't know because they didn't tell me and I didn't ask if they picked me because I was a woman. They didn't tell me they were male. They didn't know how much I was hurt by them being trans and picking me. I need to defriend all the trans people I know because I don't want them to think that I wanted to be with them as their woman. My body locks up around them. I don't want to defriend all the trans people I know but I have to do it because I don't want them to think that I was at fault for choosing them when I didn't know that they were all male. I didn't delete their friend request, I accepted it. I didn't know that they weren't into me. I didn't know that they were being nice to me because they didn't like me as a woman. Why would they want to be friends with me? If they didn't like me as a woman, then they are really weird. I just think I should just defriend them and then they won't think that I like them or want to be friends with them or be their woman or their girl. It's best to just defriend them and leave them alone so they don't think that I don't like them as a man. It's over, they can just leave me alone now. I don't have to think about the trans people I defriended because I defriended them and now it's over.