I fucking hate having sex with my wife

First of a few things. I love my wife. We've been together for a very long time and are best friends. We do everything we can to make each other happy and respect each other. I do not plan on (and do not want) divorce.<br><br>That being said, I fucking hate having sex with her. I've realized this just this last year, and I don't know what to do. Up until our early 30s, sex was great. We were always experimental, tried new things, and enjoyed it. But over the last few years, she just doesn't put in any effort at all. In fact she makes sex as passionless and vanilla as possible. No foreplay, no getting me horny first, no dirty talk, nothing. The most basic, passionless, position is all she ever wants. She does not care if I cum, she does not care if I am satisfied. She gets off once and I am expected to be done. If I try to push for better, she will get upset and call me an "asshole" for caring about my own pleasure.<br><br>This has been going on for years now. We used to do all kinds of things, now it is just the most boring, passionless thing. We've tried to talk about it many times. I started with gentle suggestions. She would promise to try harder but never did. It never changes. The only time she even cares about if I cum is if she needs my cum for something. She cares more about if I finish for her than if I am satisfied.<br><br>I am not a shallow person and I love my wife for who she is. But fuck, I hate the sex. I hate how she does not care about me orgasming or how I feel about sex as a whole. I hate that she will just lay there and do nothing. I hate that she has no intentions of trying anything different. I hate how I am expected to do my best to make sure she cums every time, but she does not give a fuck about me in return.<br><br>I am a man, so I can not have a sex drive and expect sympathy. And I do not want sympathy, I just need some advice. How can I get my wife to care about me sexually?<br><br>Edit: Reading through and trying to respond as best I can. I'll be responding with a throwRA account to prevent doxxing. Update post possible in the future if I feel comfortable enough. Thanks for the support, and thanks for the constructive comments.