I had sex with my husband and told him about a rape I suffered years ago. I'm so glad I got away from that place.

I don't know why this is relevant to this sub, but I don't care. I just want to say that I finally had sex with my husband and I was able to explain to him about a rape that happened to me over 20 years ago. He listened very kindly and held me while I cried. <br><br>When I was in my early 20s, I was raped by my boyfriend's older brother. He had a gun and he was drunk, he forced me to go in the bedroom of his parents house and raped me. It was a very traumatic thing that left emotional scars that I'm not sure will ever heal. I don't like to be touched and I don't like sex, I was in therapy for many years over it and I don't believe I will ever trust a man again. It's very unfortunate to live this way, it's something that I can never tell anyone about, even my husband, not even now. It's a painful memory and I never like to revisit it because anything else we try sexually is mentally painful. <br><br>I'm so glad I was able to experience pleasure again, but that memory has left a deep scar and I don't know if I will ever be able to heal from it. It was such a violent and painful experience that I can't ever think about it mentally. <br><br>It's impossible to believe I was able to be in a marriage where I could actually feel a bit of pleasure and joy in my sex life. It's been a very good marriage mentally and emotionally.