My husband just told me how he really feels about being a dad

My (38F) husband (41M) and I have a 9-month-old daughter (E). She’s our only child. <br><br>My husband comes from a large family; two sisters, four brothers, and him as the middle child. He’s always said he wanted a big family because he had so much fun growing up. I come from a small family; just me and an older sister. I wasn’t so sure about kids. Before we got married, we talked about this and he said he understood if that was my decision. He’d be happy with just me. After we got married though, I started to change my mind a little. I thought having one or two kids would be okay since I knew my husband would be an amazing father. I just…hated pregnancy. I was sick the whole time and I’m glad we got E out of it because I never wanted to go through that again. <br><br>Yesterday, I was venting to my husband about how overwhelmed I was with E crying nonstop when she was otherwise fine and how I felt like I was neglecting him and needed some time for us to bond again when he interrupted me and said, ‘I just don’t like being a father.’<br><br>I was shocked. ‘What?? What do you mean?!’<br><br>‘I mean I just don’t like being a dad. I know I said I wanted kids when I was younger but that was just because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t like babysitting, I never liked kids; I just didn’t think of that future then. But you were so great and you were my best friend and I didn’t want to disappoint you. I thought when I actually became a father, I would connect with her and feel that love parents are supposed to feel but I just don’t. I do try my best and I’m grateful she’s healthy and happy but I’m not happy. I resent her for changing our lives and for taking up your time and attention. I miss when it was just us two but I feel guilty for feeling this way and that’s making me hate being a father even more.’<br><br>I was speechless and hurt. He could see the pain in my eyes as my world came crashing down. He stood up with tears in his eyes and walked away.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. He’s been a great father but I guess it was all an act? Do we split up? I don’t want to but I don’t know if I can live like this for the rest of my life, in a marriage where he resents our child and me for having her. I feel so conflicted and confused.<br><br>I’m sorry if this is a little jumbled. I needed to get this all out and I appreciate any help or advice you can offer.<br><br>TL;DR!: My husband told me he hates being a dad and resents our child and the change she’s brought even though he’s been a great father.