[Update] I(23M) found out my girlfriend (20F) has a dead husbands head tattooed on her chest.

Let me apologize for not getting back to you guys sooner, I had work commitments and needed to really try and process what was going on. I want to really thank everyone who took time to reach out and offer their opinion, there were a lot great responses and I was able to really reflect on this situation. There were a few comments that stuck in my head and helped me make my decision. <br><br>To start, I went to see Sandy and we sat down and talked it out. I took the suggestion from a u/BloodInMyTea and told her I knew about the tattoo. I don’t know if she was ready for it or not, but she was in tears by the end of it. She just kept saying she knew it would come to this but just didn’t know how to tell me. She apologized and offered to have it removed. Her reasoning was that she wanted to just erase it all, but the tattoo artist did not want to do it. I asked why, she said all he said was “If you don’t want to remember him, you shouldn’t honor him in the first place” I asked if she knew why he would make a comment like that, she said she thought he was upset that she was going to have it erased. <br><br>So she still never mentioned her dead husband. I asked if she would go with me to talk to him and she agreed. I wanted to get to the bottom of this, as suggested by a few people. So we went to see him and as expected, I just bluntly pointed out that I knew and that I wanted to understand why she chose to get it. He seemed to know why I was there and just said “She won’t listen, she wants to forget.” So I asked if he wouldn’t do it, why did he do it? He just set his head down and covered his face, said he was sorry and started to sob. <br><br>It got to the point where he was truly crying about it. Between his sobs he explained that it made him happy that his brother wanted to be remembered, so he did it. He said that even if she didn’t want to remember him anymore, he was happy to just keep his memory alive. He said he felt like if she didn’t honor him anymore, then he would be truly dead. <br><br>He called for Sandy as she had left to try and comfort me, I guess she assumed I was upset that my girlfriend didn’t tell me. When she got back, I realized she hadn’t been crying. She was saying “So you’re talking about your brother again? You just can’t let it go can you?” And he said “No, I just wanted to keep his memory alive.” And what she said next, I just couldn’t ignore.<br><br>She said “He died in a drunk driving accident I caused, let me forget him.”<br><br>So I was just in shock. I don’t know how she thought she could keep this from me. She caused the accident? <br><br>I took her outside and wanted to know why it was okay to lie to me? She said she would have lost me if she didn’t lie. I asked if she was ready for the truth, she started to cry and said yes. She said she and her husband had been drinking and that she was just as drunk as him. They decided to drive home and he wanted her to sit in the backseat so he wouldn’t be drunk and driving. She said it wouldn’t make a difference, they were both drunk. She sat in the front seat with him and they got into an accident. He died in the wreck and she was barely injured. <br><br>She said that she had to live with that and she didn’t want anyone to know. She said the tattoo artist was her husbands brother and he knew the truth. So he didn’t want to remove it because he knew it would be disrespectful to his brother. <br><br>I asked if she was mad at him for not wanting to do it and she said no. She was just mad that he was right. <br><br>She said she wanted to just forget she even knew him. She said she was so embarrassed to admit that it was her fault he was dead. She didn’t want to look back on that. She wanted to forget him.<br><br>So I did what I had to do. I stood up from the bench we were sitting on and walked away from her. She was calling my name and just crying. <br><br>I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but she was driving drunk and killed someone and then lied about it. I couldn’t be with someone like that. <br><br>So I’m single now. Thanks to everyone for their help and support.