My husband doesn’t like chubby women and it hurts that he doesn’t find me attractive.

My husband and I have been married for 16 years. He married me when I was at my thinnest and since then I have gained a lot of weight. I’m working on losing it but I’m taking my time since at the moment I’m preoccupied with finishing my degree and I don’t have time to join a gym and I don’t have money for a personal trainer. <br><br>I’ve tried to initiate sex but my husbands interest has waned and he won’t elaborate why. He never found me sexually attractive and has made that very clear. I’m starting to think that he only married me as a friend and not a life partner. He’s told me he’s not sexually attracted to me and that I’m not his type. I accepted that. I’ve always known I’m not his cup of tea. <br><br>Recently I found his porn stash and it’s just skinny women. All of them. Skinny, petite women with flat stomachs. He never looked at chubby porn. And I started thinking, what the hell did he see in me? Why did he marry someone like me when I’m clearly not his type? <br><br>Over the years we’ve had sex but it’s always been him going through the motions. He’s never gone down on me or found me sexually attractive and he’s made that very clear. I’ve accepted that. But when I look at his porn stash and I see the women he’s actually attracted to, it hurts me. It hurts to know I’m not his type and he only married me as a friend. <br><br>I’ve brought it up with him but he just says he loves me and it doesn’t matter what I look like and I’m beautiful to him. I want to believe him but it’s hard when you know you’re not someone’s type. And I’ve known for years I’m not his type. It hurts. It hurts a lot.