Every night, my girlfriend wakes me up to tell the exact same joke.

Before i start, i feel like i should let something very clear: I absolutely love Ellen. We've been living together for about three years now, but have known each other our whole lives. In fact, we were childhood friends - and i know this may sound like a fairy tale to some people, but it truly felt like we were always destined to be together. Even after graduation, when we started dating other people, it only felt truly right when we were with each other. And for three years now, we've been sharing the same beautiful little bungalow near the beach, surrounded by a garden Ellen planted on her own.<br><br>Ellen's an incredibly smart, beautiful woman: she works as a scientist at some local lab, plays the flute in a band and is overall as amazing as a person can be. It's not hard to understand why i fell for her. And when we finally got together, i thought our relationship would never end. Which is why i was all the more shocked, when she started with these night time jokes of hers.<br><br>It started about three months ago, during a night just like any other. Ellen and i had gone to bed around 10, since we both had work the next day. I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, i can sleep through almost anything, so it took a lot of struggling for me to wake up. When i did however, i saw Ellen sitting on top of me. She was just.. staring at me, not moving at all. I was disoriented, confused and groggy, but i remember asking her what was up. She started talking, with no preface or warning, and i was too out of it to wonder why her voice sounded so emotionless, or why she was being so weird.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."<br><br>I was very confused. I remember asking her what was wrong with her, if she was okay, but she just kept looking at me, not moving. I thought she was sleepwalking or something, so i tried my best to gently grab her and go back to sleep. I was still very groggy, so i don't remember much, but the next morning she didn't even act like anything had happened. It was like she had totally forgotten about it.<br><br>I didn't think much about it, figured it had been a one time thing and that she must have been half asleep when it happened. But the next night, it happened again.<br><br>This time, i was more prepared. I wasn't as groggy and i knew what to expect. I still couldn't sleep it off though, and i had to wake up. Exactly at 3 am, she'd sit on me, exactly the same way as before, and tell the exact same joke. I tried to be patient, to see if this was some kind of stoppable reflex, something i could help her stop doing. I asked her about it the next few mornings, but she would always deny it, saying it didn't happen. I was starting to feel like i was going crazy, but this one night i decided to record it. I set my phone up, went to sleep, and the next morning i had proof that it had really happened. I showed it to her, and that was the first time she dropped her act.<br><br>She looked at me, still empty and emotionless, but... different. It was as if she was a different person. She told me that if i was going to ignore her attempts at conversation, she would keep doing this until i would properly listen. I was lost for words. What the hell was she talking about? I asked her what she meant, and she told me exactly what i quote:<br><br>"I once told you my joke, and you ignored me. I will keep trying, until you properly respond."<br><br>I was flabbergasted. I tried to argue that she was the one acting strangely, that i had amnesia or something, that we should go see a doctor, but she wouldn't listen. I didn't even know what to say. She didn't even make it clear what she meant with "properly respond", and anytime i tried to bring it up she would just ignore me and go about her daily business.<br><br>A few nights passed and the joke-telling continued. I've tried ignoring her, fighting her, even trying to runaway, but none of that works. One time, we were out of town, and she (literally) ran after me, just to sit on me and tell that goddamn joke. I've tried replying, saying the punchline, making up my own, anything at all. But none of it matters. Every night, at exactly 3 am, she sits on me, and tells me the same damned joke. After a while, i got used to it. But I've had enough now. I've had *enough*.<br><br>So listen, Ellen. If you're reading this, listen: I will respond properly. I will say whatever it is you want to hear, just *please,* for the love of god, stop. I will do it tomorrow, and i won't fail. Just give me one more night.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>---<br><br>I don't know what to say right now. I never saw her move so fast, it was like she teleported from the kitchen to my bedroom. She sat on me and i didn't try to fight it. When she finished the joke, i responded.<br><br>"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."<br><br>I answered her properly, just like she wanted. She smiled for a second, before getting up and walking out. I don't think she even noticed my tears. I'm writing this on a laptop while crying, so please excuse any typos.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Is this what is to be in a happy relationship?