I watched a girl die

About 5 years ago I was a hospice volunteer. I am a recent nursing school grad and thought it would be good training for a career. I volunteered at a private home, a hospice home, and a nursing home. Two of the patients I was assigned to passed away while I was with them. This is my story.<br><br>The first patient I was assigned was an older woman with Alzheimer’s disease. She was staying in a memory care home. One of the staff members called me around 5 am, saying she was going to pass in the next few hours. I got there around 6:30 and this woman was awake and sitting in her bed. She was not responsive to my presence. Later on in the day she went to sleep. I was upset wondering if I had missed her passing. Her breathing got quite labored and she was groaning a lot. At around 9 pm she took two big gasps and died. She had a few family there. I got to hold her hand and talk to her as she passed. Her eyes got big and round and she looked at me as she gasped, like she knew who I was. I couldn’t believe that I got to witness this.<br><br>The other patient that passed while I was with him was a staff member’s father. He would get confused and scared when he woke up at night and found that no one else was there. So I would sit with him overnight. This man had brain cancer. He had been diagnosed a few months prior. His parents were divorced and his mom was the main caregiver. He was in a hospice home and had a private room. I would sing him lullabies and he would fall asleep. One time he woke up and started to cry. He said he didn’t want to die. He said it wasn’t his time to go yet. He asked me if I could help him and I said no. He asked me when it would be over and I said that I didn’t know. He said that he wanted to die in his sleep. He said he was scared to see the tunnel of light. I told him that he didn’t have to be scared. That the tunnel of light was a sign that he was going to be alright. He didn’t seem comforted by my words. Do you believe in the tunnel of light? I don’t.<br><br><br>This one night I was sitting with him. It was maybe 4 am. He woke up and said, “Oh my gosh.” I said, “What?” He said, “I feel something. I think this it it.” I told him that he was going to be alright and that I was there for him. He took one big gasp and died. I was holding his hand. I called his mom and told her what happened. She didn’t believe me and said that she was coming over to confirm that he was dead. I was so confused. How could she possibly think I was lying? He wasn’t breathing. His eyes were open and unmoving. I called the hospice nurse to help me with the situation. She came over and confirmed his death and called the funeral home to come pick up his body. A few hours later his mom called me and said that she didn’t think it was my fault that he died. I was so confused. I didn’t think she blamed me. I think she just didn’t believe that he was dead. She offered me the TV he owned and some other belongings. I didn’t think it was appropriate and declined. <br><br><br>Either way, it was an honor to see these people through their final days. Death is a natural part of life. It is nothing to be afraid of. <br><br>If you are a nurse or hospice worker, what are your favorite dying stories?<br><br><br>Edit: I only use my real name in medical settings. This is my real name.