My (F24) boyfriend (M32) thought I was cheering him on as he had sex with someone else and it was really embarrassing for both of us.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost one and a half years. He’s an amazing guy and I’m really loving and supportive. <br><br>He recently bought a sexdoll and when I found out, I was like what the. I did ask him about it and he admitted that he bought a sex doll and even invited me to see it. <br><br>I was in shock when I first saw it. It looked way too real and made me feel insecure and made me wonder what the hell was going on. So I asked him why he bought it and he said that he bought it for some fun and he even joked about a threesome and I knew he was being sarcastic.<br><br>He told me that it was in the storage and I asked him how I would know if he used it or not and he was like “well you wouldn’t know.”<br><br>We had a small argument and settled it with him saying that he doesn’t need one when he has me.<br><br>I was leaving for a trip out of town for work and he found me packing and was like “hey why aren’t you packing my stuff too” and I told him that he’s not going and he was like “oh ok” and I immediately sensed something was going on. Tbh, I did check his phone and email because I was afraid he might cheat and I found nothing. <br><br>When I was back home, I found one of his shirts in the laundry and the smell was different. It smelt like perfume but he doesn’t wear cologne. <br><br>He was acting weird and distant and when I asked him about it, he said nothing was going on. I accused him of cheating and he denied it. <br><br>Later that night when we were going to bed, he had this smug look on his face and asked me to give him a bj and I was like “not now” and he insisted and I told him I wasn’t in the mood and he was like “oh, fine” and was clearly upset. I even tried to initiate sex and he was like “no, I’m good” and I asked if everything was ok and he said nothing.<br><br>The whole time I noticed he wasn’t looking me in the eye and his smile was awkward. I left the bed and went to sleep in the living room. <br><br>The next morning, I tried talking to him and let him know that I wasn’t feeling good and he insisted that there was nothing going on but I found some hair on the bed and it wasn’t mine and I confronted him and he admitted that he cheated and even told me that he had sex with the sex doll while calling out my name and I was like “what, why” and he admitted that he was embarrassing himself.<br><br>I wanted to know who the girl was and he insisted I didn’t know her and I kept asking and I threatened to leave and he confessed that it was his cousin and I was like “what, how, why, eeeeek” and I was mad and the red flags were all over the place. <br><br>He told me that his cousin came over and he didn’t know what to do and I was like “so let me get this straight. Your cousin came over and had sex with you and you thought it was fine” and he said yes and I asked if he wore a condom and he admitted he didn’t and I flipped and let him know that I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t going to stay. <br><br>He begged and pleaded with me and even said that he would delete her number and I was like “how the hell am I going to trust you” and he promised and keep on begging and I couldn’t leave because all my stuff was there and I was already upset and didn’t know what to do and I told him that he was embarrassing himself and that I wasn’t going to stay.<br><br>So yeah. I’ve been staying in a hotel room since and he’s been trying to win me back and I don’t know what to do. I asked some of my friends but they were all against me staying with him and one of my friends said that I should take him back but make him feel bad and hurt him the way he hurt me.<br><br>I’m still really hurt and upset and don’t know what to do and would really appreciate any advice.<br><br>TLDR: my boyfriend cheated on me with his cousin and admitted that he was embarrassing himself. What should I do?