AITA for allowing my son to move up a grade by letting him use the school "gifted" program even though he isn't gifted?

I (42F) have a son (14M) who is definitely not "gifted" in the traditional academic sense. My son is a very bright kid and I'm proud of him, but obviously, he has strengths and weaknesses like we all do. My son is in the 8th grade right now, which folks in my area would consider to be a 5th year middle school student.<br><br>My son has always been ahead in school because he was born very late in the year. In the US, they cut off which grade you can enroll in based on when your birthday is and mine is right at the cusp of being either an extremely young eighth grader or an extremely old one.<br><br>My son is very smart, but he's also an impulsive child who has a hard time with boundaries sometimes. I've noticed recently that he seems very restless/glum at school and I wasn't sure why. He's never been the best student, but this year seems to be really hard for him.<br><br>Finally, I sat down and talked with him about it. I pressed him gently about why he's more upset this year than he was last year. Reading between the lines, it sounds like he's having a really rough time socially. It's possible that he's just going through puberty, but he's been "gifted and talented" for a few years now, and I think that's giving him the expectation that he can function socially and academically outside of his age group when he can't.<br><br>I was ready to talk with the teachers in private about moving him into regular classes and letting him function that way. The school has already been trying to gradually integrate him in with the regular curriculum because I asked for that as a compromise, but I think it's best to drop it entirely at this point.<br><br>My husband is against all of this and thinks it's a mistake. He thinks it "stigmatizes" our son for being moved out of the better program and back into the standard classes with kids his own age. He thinks it's best to leave him where he is, since it's not the end of the world and our son is getting by. He refuses to talk with the teachers about it.<br><br>I feel like this is an overreaction on his part, but it's hard for me to tell because he's a lot more involved with this school than I am. AITA for pushing for my son to be moved into a less demanding class even if that upsets his dad, just so he has an easier time socially and academically?<br><br>Edit: removed gifted and replaced it with "gifted in quotations" because he isn't actually in the GT program and was never tested for it, the school administration just puts all the young kids together in one class, which my husband signed him up for without telling me. Before this year, it was a mixed grade class but it's not any more. This is also my sons last year in middle school and he will be going to the local high school. What's happening now is the school is trying to integrate him in with the 8th grade curriculum, but he's still with kids who are a year younger than him.<br><br>Edit 2: to answer a few questions. There is no way he can repeat the grade here. It's not allowed. My son is also very aware that he needs to be in the 9th grade next year to stay on track to go to college. There isn't anything like summer school for 8th graders who fail.