Santa is good at his job, but he's actually a very lazySanta.

He used to be a hard worker, but over the years he's found simpler ways of doing things.<br> <br>He has magic lanterns that when you wish on them, you'll forget you wanted whatever it is, and you'll just like your stocking stuffers.<br> <br>Amazon has officially replaced the elves as they are much faster and cheaper.<br> <br>The reindeer are now just electric motors bolted to an assembly line. It saves time and gas, and they never go on strike.<br> <br>He's made a deal with our countries' militaries that they have to fly for him one night a year, and so long as they never miss a night, he'll make sure to let them think the whole world is watching when they're out there. Morale and all that.<br> <br>The naughty or nice list is now curated by google. They know all too well who's been naughty or nice. <br> <br>The night before Christmas Eve, he makes an announcement to the world (we never remember it, of course), and everyone just sends their kids to their folks.<br> <br>Santa's big reveal to the world that he's lazy came at a huge press conference. He hired a man to pretend to be him, and just put a cardboard cutout of himself at the desk. The guy couldn't answer any questions, which tipped everyone off. So he blew up and screamed at everyone, like Charlie from "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy."<br> <br>"I AM SANTA, AND I AM TIRED OF WORKING! I AM SANTA CLAUS, HEAR ME ROAR!" <br> <br>In the lobby of the North Pole, his Thierry animated monorail winds its way amongst the Christmas decorations.