I (41M) just left my wife (39F) and I feel....strange?

Throwaway, as I wouldn't want my children or family members to see this.<br><br>Background: Married for 17 years, together for 22, 2 kids (16, 14), middle class success, fairly standard American family.<br><br>A couple days ago, my wife gave me an ultimatum: She wanted an open marriage. She wanted the freedom to explore other relationships without the "burden" of marriage. If I didn't agree, she threatened to leave me.<br><br>I've always been a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to relationships, I guess. I never really understood polyamory, or open relationships. I just kind of figured that when you're with someone, you're with them and only them. But hey, I can be a bit close-minded, so I decided to educate myself. I read a ton of articles and Reddit threads about open relationships, I watched some YouTube vids, and I tried my best to come to a rational, informed decision.<br><br>And you know what? I just couldn't do it. I couldn't watch the woman I've loved for the majority of my life be with other men, come back to me, and pretend like everything is fine. I just couldn't do it. So I left.<br><br>She didn't take the revelation well. She called me selfish, prude, and immature. Told me I was destroying our family for no reason. I cried, my kids cried, it was a terrible thing.<br><br>But here I am, 2 days later, in my new rental house, surrounded by strangers. And I don't feel bad, at all. I feel more free than I have in years. I spent the day exploring my new town, getting a haircut, cooking a nice dinner, and I just feel fantastic.<br><br>I don't know how to feel about my situation. I feel conflicted about the fact that I'm essentially leaving my children without a nuclear family, but at the same time, I finally feel like I get to focus on myself for once. I never really liked visiting the bar, or going to parties. I never really cared about hobbies. But now that I'm alone, I have all the time in the world, and suddenly I'm really excited to pursue everything I never got to pursue before.<br><br>So, here I am. I really don't know what the future holds. I don't know how my wife and I will navigate going from married to divorced, I don't know how my children will react to having a broken home, and I don't know how I'll manage being a single dad.<br><br>But I know one thing: I'm excited. I'm excited for the first time in years, and I can't wait to see where this new path takes me.