Don’t know what to do

I have thought about going out with my sister for a long time and I am lost. My son and her daughter are with me now and I need some help. We look like old people and I don’t have a problem with this, but it makes me feel like I’m missing out on something. I know that it’s crazy to want to go out with my sister, but I can’t think about anyone else and I think about her all the time. I wanted to ask her, but I did not have the courage. I am not sure what to do and I just want some advice.