Every night, my girlfriend wakes me up to tell the exact same joke.

Before i start, i feel like i should let something very clear: I absolutely love Ellen. She’s smart, she’s the kindest, most loving person in the world, she’s gorgeous and she makes me laugh with just one glance of her eyes. I met her 3 years ago while i was working at a restaurant. Back then i was just a broke ass teenager trying to make ends meet and she came in one day to eat with some of her friends. I remember her knocking over a glass of water and spill it all over her new dress, and as an infatuated teenage boy i rushed over to help her, slipping on the water myself in the process and landing on the marble floor with a giant thud. She helped me get up and... well, it’s a long story, but we’ve basically been together ever since. She’s the love of my life. <br><br>We moved in together a little over a year ago. It was all going great. We had a great little apartment together, i got a better job and she went to university. <br><br>About 3 months ago however, something started happening. I’m not exactly sure how it works but every night without fail Ellen would wake me up in the middle of the night, sit on my torso and just talk to me. At first i don’t think it was a big deal, as it almost felt like a dream. I remember the first time she did it she just told me how much she loved me and that she’s the happiest she’d ever been in her life. The next night she just talked about her day and what had happened.<br><br>But it’s not really like she was talking to me. At least that’s what it feels like. Every night she’d wake me up and talk about anything and everything. But she never responds to me when i talk to her. Whenever i spoke to her, she just laughed maniacally and kept talking. It always feels like she’s talking at me, not to me. <br><br>It’s not like she thought i was asleep either, because she made it very clear she knew i was awake. Every night she’d start off by telling me a joke, and then she’d go into whatever subject of conversation she had in mind. The thing was though, that the joke was always the same. Every night she’d ask me “Why did water go to therapy? Because it was feeling drained.” <br><br>At first i thought it was cute, but well... i’m sure you get it. When you’re woken up to the same joke every night it gets really, really annoying. I’ve tried to make her stop on several occasions. I’ve tried politely asking her, i’ve tried being more stern, i’ve tried being mean, i’ve even tried ignoring her and closing my eyes but none of it works.<br><br>“Why did water go to therapy? Because it was feeling drained.”<br><br>Every night. Every single night.<br><br>So once, i decided to take matters into my own hands. I had never thought of it before, but the first time i did something about it was when she started talking about what she’d eaten throughout the day. I don’t know what came over me, but as she started talking about what she’d had for dinner that evening something snapped in my head. I don’t know how i did it, but in one swift motion i grabbed her shoulders and threw her into the wall.<br><br>It knocked a painting off the wall and i heard her fall onto the floor with a thud. When i sat up and turned on the lights, i could only see that she was gone. I thought that maybe this was it. Maybe she’d finally stopped. I was annoyed and started sweating. I tried to go back to sleep but it took hours and i couldn’t get any rest.<br><br>The next morning, as i walked into the kitchen, Ellen was standing by the stove making breakfast. I still had no energy and rubbed my eyes. I was so tired and the bright light of the kitchen didn’t help. I just made myself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. I didn’t say anything to her and she didn’t say anything back. She didn’t even look back at me. <br><br>I ate what she’d made for me and sat on the couch for a bit. I was too tired to do anything and she left for university. <br><br>I don’t know how i did it, but i managed to go to work that day. <br><br>That night, she never came. I slept throughout the whole night and in the morning she made me breakfast again. She didn’t say a word and just looked straight through me. <br><br>The next night, i was woken up by her once again. She sat across my torso and this time i didn’t fight back. <br><br>“Why did water go to therapy? Because it was feeling drained.” She said. <br><br>I didn’t answer. I just laid there, looking up at her, trying to see any signs of life in her eyes, but there was nothing. Just a black void staring back into my soul. <br><br>I don’t know what she talked about that night but i just listened. I was too scared to do anything else. I had no energy, i was tired, i was too afraid to throw her off me. So i just listened to what she had to say.<br><br>The next morning, she made me breakfast and left for university. I stayed on the couch for a while until i decided i had to do something about it. I couldn’t just stay on the couch the whole day. I was too tired, i had no energy and my body hurt, but i decided to go to work. <br><br>I walked into my workplace and i felt like i was about to collapse. My boss looked at me and asked me what was wrong, but i told him everything was okay. <br><br>I worked my shift and then went home. Ellen wasn’t there, but she came back an hour or so later. She made me dinner but didn’t say a word. I tried to talk back to her but she just smiled maniacally and kept eating.<br><br>That night she woke me up again. <br><br>“Why did water go to therapy? Because it was feeling drained.” She said before talking about all the different things she saw when she went out for a walk. <br><br>I listened to her until she stopped and went back to sleep. <br><br>When i woke up, she was gone but she’d made breakfast for me. I finished eating it and went to work. <br><br>At lunch, my boss took me aside and told me that he was very worried about me. He said that i looked tired, my eyes were sunken, i’d lost a massive amount of weight, i didn’t talk to anyone and i didn’t look right. I tried to convince him everything was fine but he didn’t believe me. <br><br>“Listen, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but i really think you should take some time off.” He said. <br><br>I told him no. I was in my early twenties, what did he know?<br><br>I went back to work and finished my shift. Ellen wasn’t home when i got there, but she came back a little while later and made me dinner. We didn’t talk during dinner, she just smiled at me maniacally and stared at me while we ate. <br><br>I don’t know how but i managed to go to work the next day. When i got back home, she was waiting for me. She smiled at me and fed me dinner before i passed out. <br><br>When i woke up the next morning, i didn’t have the energy to go to work. So i stayed home for a day before going back to work the next day. <br><br>I know this might sound weird, but i don’t really know how long it’s been since this has all been going on. I’ve lost track of time and i don’t know how i managed to stay alive for so long. I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight and i can barely walk. <br><br>Every night Ellen wakes me up to tell me that same joke over and over again. <br><br>“Why did water go to therapy? Because it was feeling drained.”<br><br>Every night. Every single night. <br><br>Sometimes i don’t even hear the joke. I hear her laugh maniacally but i don’t hear anything else. <br><br>The last thing i remember her talking about was what she thought the world would be like in 1000 years. She talked about it for what felt like hours. <br><br>I don’t know how i’m still alive. I barely have the energy to walk. Sometimes i feel like i’m dead anyway. I don’t have any friends, my life consists of work, eat, sleep. That’s it. <br><br>I want this to stop. I don’t know what to do. I feel like a zombie. <br><br>Every night. <br><br>Every night i’m woken up to the same goddamn joke. <br><br>Why does water go to therapy? <br><br>Why does water go to therapy?<br><br>Why does water go to therapy?<br><br>Because it was feeling drained. <br><br>I’m feeling so drained right now. <br><br>I’m so tired. <br><br>I’m so tired.