I (35m) want to break up with my girlfriend (34f) of 10 years because I no longer find her attractive and I don’t know how to do it.

I need some advice on how to break up with my long time girlfriend. I have been with her for 10 years and I just don’t find her attractive anymore. <br><br>When I first met her she was very attractive. She was in great shape and had long pretty hair and was very pretty. She had a great sense of style for someone in her mid 20’s. In the first few years of us being together we worked out together which I think is why she was in such great shape. <br><br>But 5 or 6 years ago she started to put on some weight. She went from a size 6 to a size 12. So it isn’t drastic but it is noticeable. Sometimes she looks fine but sometimes she just looks frumpy. She also started to keep her hair shorter which isn’t a big deal for a lot of women but on her it just doesn’t look right. She is 5’0 and anytime she tries to have any sort of short hair cut it always looks like a man’s haircut and it just doesn’t look right on her.<br><br>I know this is shallow and I should want to be with her no matter what. But every time I look at her now I just feel turned off. I don’t want to have sex with her any more and when I do I just feel like I’m doing a job and I don’t want her to touch me. <br><br>I tried to suggest that we start working out again and she just gets very defensive and says that she is happy with how she looks and she was only working out for me. I don’t think that is true but I don’t know how to prove that. I have given her compliments to try to make her feel better but she just says I’m only saying it because I feel bad for her. <br><br>I don’t want to end the relationship but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to sound mean but I just don’t want to be with her anymore. I don’t know how to have this conversation with her without sounding like a superficial asshole. I feel like a heel that I want to end things with someone that I love because I don’t think she is pretty anymore. I don’t know if I’m just making a huge mistake or not.<br><br>edit - since people are asking, I have full health insurance with my company and she is also covered. Also I have offered to hire a personal trainer and nutritionist which she declined. It is absolutely her choice to not make a change in her diet or to work out. I have also suggested that we have some sort of joint hobby but DandD is not her cup of tea.<br><br>Edit 2 - since people keep asking me about why she gained weight. Like I said in the post I don’t know. I can only guess that it has to do with her career change. I don’t know why she doesn’t want to look nice anymore. She is a grown woman and it is 100% her choice to live her life how she wants. I just don’t know how to be in a relationship where I don’t find my partner attractive.