I (20m) want to fuck my older (24f) half-sister

I (20m) have wanted to fuck my half-sister (24f) ever since she was 20. We have the same mother, my dad left when I was a young boy and my mom met her father and they got married. She feels like a full sister but legally she isn’t.<br><br>She is a beautiful girl, with a nice face, long blonde hair, green eyes, a great figure and a bubbly personality. I could have sex with her whenever but I have chosen not to. We have been alone in the house with only us for years and I could and she would’ve never known but I have chosen not to. She is the only girl I have never kissed and would be okay with having sex with her but I do not want to ruin our relationship.<br><br>I remember us growing up, playing together as kids, having sleepovers in her room when I was young (before puberty hit for both of us) and when I was old enough to take care of myself, my mom and her dad let us sleep in our own rooms. I remember hitting puberty and feeling jealous of her boyfriends and feeling happy every time they broke up, I was jealous of her having her boyfriends spend the night in her room, jealous every time I heard them having sex, jealous that she got to celebrate her 18th birthday by staying in a hotel. I was jealous of her having her freedom and jealous of her boyfriends being able to have sex with her.<br><br>I was jealous because I couldn’t have her and I always knew I couldn’t have her. She is out of my league and if my feelings were ever reciprocated, it would be a one-time thing and she would go running if I wanted more. I wasn’t good looking, I was socially inept and I had no friends. I only had my mom and her as family. So I was jealous and upset and I never told her how I felt.<br><br>Her and her dad moved out when I was 19 and I only see her every couple of months. I am jealous every time I see her with a new boyfriend, I want to fight them and claim I’m the better man, but I don’t. She doesn’t love me like that and I’m not good looking enough and I don’t have a good enough personality and I don’t have enough muscles and I don’t make enough money so I have to let it go.<br><br>I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I don’t go to the gym. I’m trying to find a decent job but I currently work in fast food and make minimum wage. I live paycheck to paycheck, I have never had sex, I am a virgin, I am socially inept and I grew up in a small town. I am far from the most desirable man and I know it. I may never have a girlfriend and I may die a virgin.<br><br>I don’t want to ruin our relationship over my lust. I want to have a good relationship with her for as long as we both shall live but I wish things could be different. So I bottle my feelings and go on with my life, wishing and hoping things could be different.#####I'm a girl but I wanna fuck my brother so much too he's super gorgeous and has an amazing personality but I'm really shy and scared so I don't do anything... you're not weird or anything I understand and feel the same way.