My ex killed herself years ago and I just found out

I dated a girl back in high school as the mid teens. We were both weebs. This is my story. <br><br>I recently moved back to my hometown or rather close to it and decided to look up people from high school. I didn't have many friends as I was bullied for my weight and interests like anime so the people I had I liked to keep up with. <br><br>So I was just looking up random people and then I found her now married name. I was like wow I wonder what she looks like now probably all grown up and stuff. <br><br>I clicked the search result and it went to a news article. I looked at the search results and I noticed other articles. <br><br>Her suicide note was actually hypnotism music that I had given her on an iPod back in the day. She left the nike shoes I bought her under the tree she hung herself on. <br><br>There was an investigation and they found that I had more or less manipulated her and groomed her as I was a bad influence on her. <br><br>She was clinically depressed and had a lot of issues. I was clinically depressed myself and struggling with self harm and drugs. <br><br>I never realized how much she was into me. I thought she was just a friend and I liked her as more than a friend. <br><br>She was the one who wanted to be hypnotized. She wanted to be a better person. We were both clinically depressed. I had read a book on hypnosis and decided to hypnotize her. I wrote the script and recorded it and gave it to her on the iPod. <br><br>There was no evil intent. We were kids who didn't know any better. I was 15 and she was 15. <br><br>I'm 27 now. I never knew she had killed herself in 2019. She ended up killing herself on my birthday this day back in 2019. I didn't even know this. I just found out today. <br><br>I'm just so confused and heart broken and not sure how I'm feeling or what I'm feeling. <br><br>I've been thinking about going back to therapy but I'm not sure if that would help.