The blackpill is what keeps me going

The world is a cruel place and if you don't match beauty standards, you're nothing. But because I've accepted the blackpill, I am prepared to navigate through this cruel reality. People may think I'm pessimistic but I think the future is bright for me. I know I'm ugly and the only way out is suicide, but I get to flirt with death and game it successfully every time. I get to ruin the lives of people I care about by making them watch me destroy myself. I get to laugh at the meaninglessness of people's lives. I flirt with death and convince him to give me more time, to let me live a little bit longer, and he always gives in, because deep down he wants us to game him, he wants us to live, because if we game him, it means we are strong. But we all know I don't have a choice, I would rather die than flirt with death, I am only doing this because I have no choice, and death knows that too, it's all a sick game, but I'm gonna win.