AITA for refusing to babysit my grandkids because I don’t want to.

I am in my late 50s, and I have a daughter and a son who both have kids. I was a part-time SAHM because I chose to be and wanted to be with my kids as they grew up. When they got older, I did go back to work, and now I’m semi-retired with lots of free time. My kids are very close to me/geographically and I am involved in their lives, but I have made it clear that I don’t want to be a regular babysiter for the kids. My kids also have a mom and dad, and partners who can babysit if need be.<br><br>I am just not interested in regularly taking care of small kids again. My kids also know that I absolutely will not take care of two kids at once, and I made it clear before my first grandchild was born that I would not babysit my DGD and any hypothetical second children she has at the same time. I am willing to take care of one kid if there is an emergency situation, like my kids are stranded at the airport, but that is basically it. I will also not babysit overnight.<br><br>I was quite clear about all of this before my kids had kids, and many times since. My kids have also made sure that their partners and their partners’ families are available to watch the kids so that they aren’t out a babysiter if I don’t do it. They have talked to me about changing my mind and me being more involved, but I have not. My kids have partners who are also parents and they all work with their office hours being the same as the school hours, but they usually have after school activities, and some weekend activities, so they do need babysitting at times.<br><br>My DGD is now 4 and my GS is 1, and my kids do reach out to me to see if I will babysit when they need it, usually for an evening, but I have only agreed to do it once, which was to help get my DGS through a night of teething. <br><br>My kids are leaving the kids with me tonight to go to an event and a late dinner. They asked me last week if I would babysit, and I said no, it’s during the week and I’m tired. They asked me again this morning and I said no. They were both offended, and said that they asked me LAST WEEK, and the answer is still no? I said yes, and my daughter said that I just never babysit and that I babysit my friends’ kids and why can’t I babysit MY grandkids? I said that I only ever agreed to babysit my friend’s kids a few times when I was already babysitting her older kids, but she also only asked me a few times. My friend was also interested in babysitting my kids but did not get to because I chose not to have her do it.<br><br>My son then said that he doesn’t even like asking me because he knows I will say no. I said that was the reason I didn’t want to babysit in the first place, and he said that I really have no reason not to. My kids then both said that I’m not doing this for our family and that I am being selfish for choosing not to babysit.<br><br>I told them that they knew I didn’t want to be a babysitter before they had kids, and they know that I didn’t want to be a babysitter for two kids. They said they knew what I said but they didn’t know how much they would need babysitting. Then I’m the asshole for only agreeing to babysit once.<br><br>I have told my kids that I’m not changing my mind, but I’m wondering if I am being selfish and an asshole. My kids are both old enough to have kids, so I figure that they knew what they were getting into and they have arrangements in place.