How to curse anyone, in 5 steps

Hey witches, I noticed this sub has blown up overnight, so I thought I would share my recipe for cursing shitty politicians, gross people in the street, and anyone else who has earned a hex in your book. Don't say I didn't warn you...<br><br>**Step 1: Make sure you have an effigy.**<br><br>If you're anything like me, you keep a stash of plastic skeletons for just these occasions. If not, you can find them in the dollar store, or use a shitty pinecone or piece of bark or something. Paint the face or write the person's name on it in black sharpie. If you are feeling extra, you can write the person's address, phone number, license plate number, favorite movie, favorite food, the brand of their favorite underwear, etc etc. The more info the merrier!<br><br>**Step 2: Determine what to curse.**<br><br>Ask yourself what quality you want to curse in the person, depending on their sin. For example, if someone needs to be held accountable, you might curse their own ego, or their sense of denial, or their need for external validation. If someone is being manipulative, you might curse their charm, their ability to speak out of both sides of their mouth, or their talent for gaslighting. You get the idea. Think of something that would help them grow as a person, or help them to stop their shitty behavior. Don't curse their life, their relationships, or their health. We aren't monsters.<br><br>**Step 3: Curse the effigy.**<br><br>Say or think your curse. You can be short and sweet, or wax poetic. You can make yourself cry, scream, or laugh maniacally. You can write your curse down on a piece of paper and throw it in the woodstove, or whisper it to the effigy from an inch away. You can say it in rhyming couplets, or in all caps with 75 exclamation points. You can make yourself come while you curse, if you want. The important thing is that you put your whole heart into it. <br><br>**Step 4: Dispose of the effigy.**<br><br>Now that your curse has been spoken, you must dispose of the effigy in a manner that reflects the curse. For example, if you cursed the person's drive for success, you might bury the effigy in the compost, to fertilize the garden. If you cursed the person's sense of self-importance, you might throw the effigy off the highest bridge you can find. You could put the effigy in the fridge if you wanted to curse their sex life, or put it on your front door if you wanted to curse their sense of security or safety. If you wanted to curse the person's relationships, you might put the effigy in a teapot, or a vase, or a shoebox under your bed. You get the idea. Be creative, and have fun with it. <br><br>**Step 5: Let go.**<br><br>Once the curse is placed and the effigy is disposed of, LET GO of the situation. Don't think about the person again. Don't post about it on the book of faces, don't tell your friends, don't tweet about it. Don't even think about it until you hear the person has grown. <br><br>That's it! Pretty easy, right? Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a plastic skeleton...