If you are a adult with a history of trauma and taking psych meds then you should definitely try psychedelic substances.

I'm an alcoholic who was sober for 6 years and I went back to drinking when I got my brain zapped.<br><br>I'm bipolar and I suffer from PTSD.<br><br>I spent most of my life drinking and doing drugs. I have been in rehab more than I can count. I've been sober since 2018 but I drank a beer about a month ago. I was so stressed out about my mom who was a complete fucking disaster for most of my life. She was a drug addict and messed with everyone's life she touched. My dad didn't help, he lived with her the whole time. I started drinking when I was 10 and doing drugs at 12. Meth and Xanax were my drugs of choice. <br><br>I got sober, my brain was a complete mess. My psych docs didn't know what to do to help me. They gave me meds and they didn't work. I felt empty. The only thing that made me feel better during my first year of sobriety was yoga. I felt more connected to myself, I felt calm and I felt capable of handling my life's problems. My brain started to function normally after a year of sobriety and my life started to improve.<br><br>I felt like I was doing good but I wasn't really. I was having flashbacks of traumatic shit that I didn't remember before. I was having a hard time. I felt like I was going to go back to booze and substances. I went to a dark place. My psych docs wanted to put me on antipsychotics and a mood stabilizer, but I didn't want to. I didn't want anybody to take away my ability to feel, I didn't want to feel like a zombie. I already was on an anti depressant. <br><br>One of my psych docs told me about EMDR therapy but she told me it was going to be expensive. I paid a lot of money for it and it didn't work at all. My other psych doc told me to try TBIs, because she said it was going to be more effective and affordable. So I did it and it felt like my brain was getting zapped. I drank a beer and it was horrible. So I stopped. I felt horrible and I realized how bad my mom's life was. I thought she was the complete piece of shit but she wasn't. She was a victim of rape. She got pregnant from a rape and she decided not to abort me. She was a victim of rape and sexual abuse from her uncle and her brother. She was a victim of society and a victim of capitalism. The reason she was a drug addict was because how much pain was living inside of her. I'm not justifying anything she did, I'm justifying why she did it. I just felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for myself too. I forgave her. I don't hate her like I used to. I'm happy to see her try to live a better life now.<br><br>I tried it again and it felt awful. I felt empty. I was doing a lot of yoga and meditation but it wasn't enough. I wanted to drink and do drugs. I didn't want to feel that way. I didn't want to want them. I didn't want to destroy everything. So I went to my psych doc and I asked her about psychedelics. She told me that she saw a lot of positive results in patients. She recommended my other psych doc who was doing psilocybin therapy and it worked great for some people. <br><br>So I did it in combination with EMDR and it was amazing. It helped me understand myself. It helped me understand my relationship with my mom. It helped me understand how much trauma my brain was carrying. It made me understand that I'm a victim of crime and that it's not my fault. I never felt such clarity. I was capable of dealing with my brain and how to manage its pain. I was capable of managing it. I felt happy. I felt a sense of peace that I never felt before. It was nothing like any drug gave me. It felt like my brain was healing. I felt it. I felt my brain was normalizing. I felt like a brand new person.<br><br>My brain is normalizing. I feel good. I don't want to drink and do drugs. I don't feel empty anymore. I don't feel pain anymore. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm not afraid to die. I'm not afraid to live. I live with psych meds but I don't feel like a zombie. I don't feel like a robot. I feel like a real person.<br><br>I'm happy.<br><br>Sorry for my English, I'm not an American and I'm not familiar with the language.<br><br>Edit 1: I didn't want to respond to any comments because I'm not an English speaker but I will respond to a few because so many people are interested in learning more. <br><br>First of all, I want to say that I'm not a therapist/psychiatrist. What I did was psilocybin therapy with EMDR for 4 sessions. These sessions were helpful. I was able to handle trauma in a way that I never thought it was possible. The therapy was doing good, I felt good. But the therapy was expensive. I can't keep doing them. I live in a third world country and nothing is free. TBIs were so expensive. So now I'm just doing it naturally. <br><br>I don't want to harm anyone. I don't want my story to be a guide on how to do drugs. Do whatever you want but do it the way you want. <br><br>I'm not saying that this experience is going to be similar to everybody. <br><br>I'm not a brain or psych expert.<br><br>There's a lot of misinformation in this thread. I just want to say that you're not going to have a like brain zapper in your head. It's not going to work like it. TBIs are completely different from brain zappers.<br><br>There's so much misinformation about this stuff and I don't want to harm anyone. I just want to tell my story and how I felt. Just be careful and talk to a doctor. <br><br>If you follow me on Twitter I post my therapy sessions with pictures. There's more information about it.<br><br>Edit 2: I don't want to give medical advice. I'm not a brain expert. I'm not a psychiatrist/therapist.<br><br>I just want to say that TMS is completely different from TBIs. You're going to feel like your brain is getting zapped with TMS but it's not going to happen with TBIs. I just want to say that, because I don't want to give wrong information.<br><br>Also, there's a lot of misinformation here. Please do a lot of research before doing substances. I'm not saying that TBIs and psychedelics are going to make you feel like I did. <br><br>I don't want to harm anyone. I just want to tell my story. <br><br>Thank you all for your kind comments.<br><br>Edit 3: I'm not an expert or something, I just want to say that some of you are taking TMS and TBIs as being the same thing. <br><br>TBIs are transcranial bilateral infernal stimulation and that's not the same thing as TMS.<br><br>My brain wasn't zapped. Some people know what they're talking about but some others don't.<br><br>Also, there's a lot of misinformation in this thread. Please don't consider my story as a guide. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist/psychiatrist. I'm just a person who tried something and felt something. <br><br>Thank you.<br><br>Edit 4: I think I need to stop. I'm not a doctor and I'm not a therapist/psychiatrist. I can't give medical advice. So I think I need to stop. There's a lot of misinformation and my English is not that good. So I'm going to stop. I just want to say that I'm taking a break from TBIs. It's not good to do a lot of them. You should take a break. I'm going to talk to my psych doc and do a blood test to know everything. I'm going to ask her if I can keep doing them. So I'm going to stop. Thank you all for your kind comments and your questions. Thank you all.<br><br>Edit 5: I'm not going to give an update anymore. I'm not a brain specialist. I'm not a psych expert. I'm not a therapist/psychiatrist.<br><br>Just be careful. I don't want to give wrong information.<br><br>I'm going to delete everything.