I had my pulse on his chest and I was like "this dude is really beating my heart really hard, why would he do that again?".

I was on the bus going home after a night out with my best friend. I was really drunk and my head was really hurting. I didn't care that much because I was so drunk that I didn't really feel anything. That is, when I started feeling something. Specifically, I felt a pulse, like a heartbeat, on my chest. <br><br>As far as I know, you don't have to be a doctor to realize that if you are a 30ish woman in a bus and you have a heartbeat *on your chest*, it might not be the best idea ever, because there is nothing there that could possibly make that pulse, on top of yours, you know. Besides, at the time, I was learning about the story of a *really really really* stupid woman who got a "tattoo" tattooed on her chest that was in fact a tattoo artist's design to mark sex offenders. The whole story is kinda dramatic in a "you will be your worst enemy" kinda way, it's kinda funny if you take it as a funny story, but in the context of my life at that moment it wasn't funny at all and besides that it had a whole lot of cringe and weirdness in it so I'm not gonna make you look it up if you can't recall it and don't wanna look it up.<br><br>So yeah, I'm drunk, I feel a pulse on my chest, and I had a story of a woman who got her chest tattooed so that it *had a pulse on her chest* because she got caught doing something that she shouldn't be doing, so again you know, pulse on the chest was not the *best thing ever*, besides, what the fuck is this? I started to feel something really weird and the pulse was getting more intense. It was like it was getting slower and slower, but stronger and stronger and deeper and deeper, like it was not just on my chest but inside me, deeper and stronger and weirder, and I can't stop to think about the story of the woman with the tattoo and the pulse on her heart, and *why the hell does my chest, and my heart, beat that weird way?* <br><br>With my *really really really* drunk brain, I thought that must have been a thing that I can't remember at all, you know, something that I do *all the time* but I am too stupid to remember at that moment. I knew that if I remembered that, everything would be okay, that I could panic about it after I remembered it. It was like if I had a word in the tip of my tongue that I couldn't remember, and I was trying to remember that word that I didn't even know if it existed at all. <br><br>To make it worse, I started to feel more and more weird things around that pulse. My chest was kinda hurting, like if it had been beaten for a long time and really hard, but I was kinda happy about it because I was in so much pain everywhere that at least my chest wasn't hurting that much. But the pulse was getting more and more intense. I had a weird pulsing feeling that was like a really strong itch, but at the same time it was kinda like if I had a rash in that area, but I didn't. I kinda knew because my top was kinda open and I could see my chest and I knew I wasn't having any rash or anything else, but the skin was kinda hurt, like if it had been scratched for a long time. Besides, that pulse was also feeling like I was really hungry, but not only *really hungry* but *hungry for something specific*, like, I don't know, if it was like if I only ate saltines for the past month and I only ate them because I was in an island after a shipwreck and I didn't have any other food at all, except for saltines that somehow were in my luggage, and after that I was again in a big city eating saltines for a month because after the accident I was so unhappy that all I could eat were saltines, and then, after a month I only ate saltines and I finally got the chance to eat something else after a long time, and after that I was so unhappy that I could only eat saltines, so I only ate it again. Yeah, that was the kind of feeling that I had. And I knew I wasn't hungry because I had a pulse, because I'm a really really really stupid woman, not that kind, and after all I already had eaten saltines every day for a really long time and I was kinda over it. It was a really weird feeling. That was the weirdest thing about it, that pulse on my chest that I kinda felt in my whole body. <br><br>That's when I again remembered the story of the woman who got her chest tattooed so that it _had a pulse on her chest_ because she was so stupid that she got caught doing really awful things that people don't even talk about. I had a pulse on my chest because I got caught doing something really awful. I started to feel something weird inside me. I knew I was on the bus, so I was afraid that I would panic and scream and cry in the middle of the bus and again you know, I'm again a 30ish woman who is at the bus at _really really really_ weird time, kinda *early in the morning?* and I can't again just again you know, panic and cry in the bus. I know it *kinda* worked before but I can't just panic every time I have a weird thing on my chest. Besides, the pulse again getting again more and more intense, I really wanted to stop it _really really really_ badly, and maybe panicking again would bring me what I wanted.<br><br>That's when I remembered, drunk as I was. The reason I had a pulse on my chest was because at the time I had a pulse on my chest because I was a 30ish woman and I had a *man's heart beating on my chest.* I think I repeated that a million times really loud "I'M A WOMAN AND I HAVE A MAN'S HEART BEATING HARD ON MY CHEST YES I'M A WOMAN AND I HAVE A MAN'S HEART BEATING HARD ON MY CHEST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN AND I LET A MAN BEAT AGAINST MY CHEST FOR A REALLY LONG TIME" I'm _really really really_ sure that I only said it to myself and kinda "low voice" but I don't know if that was true because I was really drunk and I'm _really really really_ stupid and I can't know again you know, what I say and what I only think. I know I'm *kinda* prone to say "I'M A WOMAN AND I LET A MAN BEAT AGAINST MY CHEST YES I'M A WOMAN AND I LET A MAN BEAT AGAINST MY CHEST FOR A REALLY LONG TIME" to _whoever is around_ because I'm so stupid that I can't remember that I'm kinda *prone* to do it _all the time._<br><br>One really weird thing is that after I remembered I wasn't so drunk anymore, so I'm _really really really_ sure that I was again 100% not really drunk. I could feel pulse on my chest because a _really really really_ stupid woman like me can't remember that, what I had on my chest wasn't a pulse on my chest that I couldn't remember at all, it was a really again you know, stupid _man's heart_ beating against my chest because I'm a woman and I'm _really really really_ stupid and I can't stop to let men beat against my chest _all the time._<br><br>One more weird thing was that after that, I wasn't in pain at all anymore, besides again you know, _only again my chest_. And at the time, _only again my chest_ wasn't hurting that much anymore, because I'm again you know, a _really really really_ stupid woman who doesn't care that much about _only again my chest_ hurting that much anymore after at least 5 hours. At least _will not hurt that much anymore_. I _only again_ felt pulse on my chest because I'm a woman and I'm _really really really_ stupid so I let men beat against my chest _all the time._ <br><br>I'm _really really really_ sorry if that was the story of your life too. I don't really know you, but I'm sorry about it.