I [29M] told my GF [30F] that her favorite! perfume is cheap and she called me an asshole.

I went to see my GF Wendy on the weekend and she pulled a weird face when I gave her a hug.<br><br>She asked me if I had been smoking and said it was “eeew”. I don’t smoke but we were in a crowd and there’s smokers around. She kept going on and on about it being gross. Nobody else has ever mentioned this so I was a bit surprised. <br><br>Then I had to take a bus for about two hours to get to her place and she picked me up from the stop. Again she complained about the smell on me. I thought it was ridiculous and I didn’t smell anything at all on myself. I think she was just annoyed at me for coming late. We had planned for me to come over earlier but got held up. <br><br>She was still going on about it so I asked what she smells exactly and she told me that I stunk of smoke and another smell she couldn’t describe. I pressed her on it because I honestly didn’t even care she was just being annoying and she admitted that I smelled of my ex. This is something she’s mentioned before and it annoyed me that it was coming up again.<br><br>When we got back to her place I hugged her and she pulled away quickly. I asked what was wrong and she said that now she smelled like my ex. <br><br>She has mentioned my ex on and off since we’ve been together but it was spaced out and came up less and less. It’s been an issue for a while and still comes up, but I was expecting it to be resolved. <br><br>I told her that I think maybe she was just upset at my behaviour and was using my ex as an excuse to be mad. In hindsight this came across as really dismissive and shitty. She went and stayed in the bedroom and I went out to get us food. I don’t know what she thought was going on there, but she eventually came outside and talked to me. <br><br>We both tried to have a normal conversation all day and I offered to buy her a new perfume because I thought that would lift her mood. I said her favourite one was a cheap brand/low quality and she got really upset and said I was trying to hurt her because my ex wore that perfume. <br><br>I was really taken aback and asked if she really thinks my ex is that important to me and she said “yes!” and left the room. I didn’t see her again that day. I was really confused and tired and just wanted to go to sleep but at the same time I was angry she got mad at me. In the morning she didn’t want to talk. <br><br>She dropped me back to the bus stop and didn’t even say bye to me. I really don’t know what to do. <br><br>UPDATE: I can’t respond to messages, I don’t have many minutes. <br><br>Quick update: after my last post I sent Wendy a message about how I was hurt that she thought my ex was still important to me. I said my ex is a complete piece of garbage, she tried to kill me and that she doesn’t matter to me. <br><br>I think this all came across as me acting like a victim and not trying to see her side. She thought I was trying to make fun of her by calling her favourite perfume cheap and even that I thought she was cheap. She said she doesn’t care if it’s cheap, it’s her favourite perfume and she thought it was more personal to her than her wearing the same perfume as my ex. <br><br>I said all of this in the car and Wendy got really upset. I still don’t understand why she got so upset. She won’t answer my calls or texts. <br><br>I am fucking furious right now. She called me an asshole for calling her perfume cheap and now I’m the bad person in the relationship? Every conversation we’ve had has been about my ex. Even though she knows my ex isn’t important to me, it’s still an issue. We can’t be around when people are smoking or she thinks I stink, we can’t be around people wearing that perfume or she thinks I stink, we can’t eat food that my ex likes or she thinks I’m still in love with my ex! <br><br>If any of you have read this far, please tell me what to do. <br><br>UPDATE: I’ve gotten some messages saying that I can’t be upset my GF has issues with my ex because of! what she did. It’s called PTSD and it’s a mental illness. I know this but she was getting better, not worse. What’s happening now is worse than it ever was. It felt like we had turned a corner but now I’m back to square one. <br><br>Wendy just called me and said that she thinks we need to break up. I was confused and asked her why. She said too many things have been building up and we need to go our separate ways. I asked if this was about my ex and she said it was. <br><br>I asked what exactly she thinks is so wrong about me that we need to break up and she wouldn’t answer. I told her I’m going to come over and talk to her about it and she agreed. <br><br>Once I’m off work I’m going to go to her place and talk to her and see what she means. I really don’t want to break up and I know she doesn’t either because we both love each other. I just don’t get what happened.