CMV: It is not ethical that society has to pay for singleton older mothers

You are a 35 year old woman, you have watched your female friends all have a child in the late 20s/early 30s. You have not. It was a sensible decision because you hadn't found the right partner or you watched a friend ruin her life having a child with the wrong guy. You are in a great job and career, earning a good amount of money and in a strong financial position.<br><br>But now you want a child. You can't find a partner to have one with, but you decide your life is too good to waste any more time on dating. You therefore decide to go for a solo child via a sperm donor.<br><br>Firstly, the fertility treatment process is extremely physically and mentally taxing. But you're a strong woman, you can take it. After several rounds of treatment and many thousands spent you finally fall pregnant. You have a complicated birth and are given a large amount of sick pay by your employer as you are no longer able to work. You are unable to look after yourself or your child so someone else has to give up work to look after you.<br><br>This person is likely an older male parent who was looking forward to retiring in the next couple of years. Your decision has delayed their retirement by at least a year and possibly forever. Your partner and friends are also having to look after you. This means they have less time for their own children, and partners etc. Your decision has therefore also had a knock on effect on everyone around you.<br><br>Now that you are back to fitness you can't go back to work. Your child is too young to be in a daycare so you need to be paid by the government to stay at home with your child. Eventually when you child is 3 (but you'll likely keep them home until 5) you will put them in a school. You will then go back to work. Indirectly, you are taking 5 years of the government's money so you can stay home with a child you chose to have on your own. <br><br>You are not a poor single mother, you are still earning a very good salary. You could afford to hire someone to look after your child in the home.<br><br>I know there are a lot of what ifs here but I have seen this exact situation occur in my own life. I have effectively had a serious delay in my retirement and I am not 1st in the list for medical treatment because the priority is a healthy woman with a healthy baby that chose to have a child on their own. I was looking forward to spending more time with my wife and less time at work. I now have to spend more time looking after a woman who chose to have a child because she wanted one.<br><br>Edit: I don't think anyone should be required to have a child<br><br>Edit: I am British so I am referring to the situation in the UK where there is free healthcare. The healthcare is not free of course, it's just paid for by taxes.<br><br>Edit 2: I am not saying that all women who have children on their own do so to persue a career. I was just giving an example. <br><br>Edit 3: I am not a racist nor a sexist. I specifically used female in my example because it is more likely to be a middle aged woman having a child with a donor. It is not common for men in their 30s to use a surrogate.<br><br>Edit 4: I am not a couple of years away from retirement. My wife is still in her 40s. But we had been looking forward to being able to stop doing 80 hour months and start doing 40 hours so we can both go home and spend some more time together.<br><br>Edit 5: I am not angry at the woman. She is just doing what she is allowed to do in the laws of the country we live in. I am angry that she is allowed to do what she is doing. <br><br>Edit 6: I don't think people should be allowed to make decisions like this. I do think they should be allowed to do what they want to their own body but I believe you also have a responsibility to the people around you and society as a whole. <br><br>Edit 7: I don't think anyone should be prevented from having any children. If a woman who is a single mother to 3 already wants a 4th I think that is unfair to the children she already has and I think the government should pay for her to get her tubes tied.