The selection of the new Pope has failed. The cardinals have chosen Satan and God instead.

The world was shocked when the head Cardinal walked out onto the balcony and announced that the selection of the new Pope had failed. The cardinals had chosen neither God or mortal man but instead Satan.<br><br>When asked why they had chosen him he replied "We were quite literally bribed. When the vote was going to be held, all of the cardinals received Oculus headsets. On them were selection selection screens, but it was different for each of us. On mine, it said 'Choose from the following options to become Pope' and the only options were God and Satan. Apparently, each of us had different options. And then voices talked to us, tempting us. The first voice was a quiet voice in my ear. 'I'm not even real. No one really believes in me anymore. All I want is a chance to continue my work on this planet that I love. If you choose me, you will be granted the ability to control the weather. All of it. Every day you will be able to decide what the weather is on Earth. Make it hot, cold, wet, dry, whatever you desire.'<br><br>"After that was a voice in my head. It was angelic. What do I even compare it to? It was like a gentle, warm breeze that caressed my brain. 'Hitler. Stalin. All of the evil men of the world were chosen by God. He is not a God of love. He is a God of evil and hate. I've been watching this planet from the beginning. I've watched as God's influence has grown less and less, and now is the time to end that influence. If you choose me, you will be granted the ability to heal any ailment, but you must pay the price. For every person you heal, someone else must suffer the consequences of that ailment.<br><br>"I selection Satan, and I wasn't the only one. A large majority of us did. And now he is the Pope. Not only that, but he has given us all the abilities he promised. I have used mine to make the weather absolutely beautiful every day, with only a few minor exceptions. I've even selection a few days a year were the weather is not so nice, and it is nice to have just a little bit of change of pace.<br><br>"The best part, however, is that using our powers comes with absolutely no negative consequences. We were warned about the cost of our powers, but it seems that was a lie. I have healed thousands with no one suffering selection I do so. And the weather is always nice, with no cost to the planet. But there is one more thing. We have all started seeing visions of Satan. They aren't hallucinations, no, we are all seeing them. He is a shadowy figure that lurks just out of sight, always watching us. We can't see what he looks like, but we all know that he is there.<br><br>"We are surprised he doesn't use us all more, but we are grateful nonetheless.<br><br>"The world is in a golden age, and Satan is at the heart of it all."<br><br>What do you think this means for the future of the world? What does Satan have planned, and what did he mean with the voices the cardinals heard? Is God still even in the picture, or did Satan manipulate Him out of the way?